How to Not Cum Fast – A Guide to Lasting Longer in Bed by Not Ejaculating Faster

According to a survey conducted by the Society for Sex Therapy and Research in 2005, vaginal sex typically lasts for a period of 3 to 7 minutes. A sexual session that lasts 10 to 30 minutes is considered too long. On the other hand, vaginal sex that lasts for only 1 to 2 minutes is considered too short. Sex therapists suggest that average vaginal sex should last anywhere between 7 to 13 minutes. While most part of this is true, men often don’t last much longer in bed. This is due to the fact that they often have second thoughts regarding their sexual performance and they end up reaching the point of no return sooner than expected. Thus, it leaves the sexual desires of both partners unfulfilled and messes up the relationship. 

Sex isn’t a pair of socks! It should be enjoyed to the fullest for as long as you and your partner want to. However, if you find yourself ejaculating early during your sexual sessions, you might be suffering from a health condition. If you wonder why you cum so fast (in less than 1 minute or so), the reason might be a sexual disorder known as “Premature Ejaculation (PE)”. The problem of premature ejaculation is a big turn-off for both partners as it makes sex less enjoyable. PE might seem like an impossible situation to get out of, however, it isn’t true at all. After all, no one wants to apologize and get out of bed early.

But before we guide you on how to not cum early, let’s understand what premature ejaculation is and how exactly it is caused.

Table of Contents

  • What is Premature Ejaculation and How is it Caused?
  • Causes
    • a) Erectile Dysfunction
    • b) Anxiety
    • c) Relationship Issues
    • d) Aging
    • e) Abnormal levels of Neurotransmitters
  • Things You Can Do to Make You Not Cum Early
    • 1. Perform Kegels and Reverse Kegels
    • 2. Edging
    • 3. The Squeeze Method
    • 4. SSRIs
    • 5. Numbing Sprays and Creams 
    • 6. Stamina Condoms
    • 7. Increase the Time of Your Foreplay Sessions
  • Final Thoughts

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What is Premature Ejaculation and How is it Caused?

What is Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation (PE) is when a man reaches orgasm and ejaculates sooner than he or his partner would want him to during sexual intercourse. 1 out of every 3 men in the US is known to suffer from PE. Thomas J. Walsh, M.D., who is a urologist at the University of Washington says that premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life. With that being said, you need to know the root cause of the problem. Since ejaculation is controlled by the central nervous system, psychological factors play a major role. But that’s just not it! Both psychological and biological factors can lead to premature ejaculation.


a) Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction

PE can often occur in men suffering from problems such as Erectile Dysfunction (ED). The problem of ED makes a man unable to achieve or sustain an erection during sexual intercourse. If a man suffers from ED, it should be treated first. Erectile Dysfunction can be treated effectively with the help of medicines such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. 

b) Anxiety

Anxiety cause premature ejaculation

Men who have problems with anxiety regarding certain issues, or about their sexual performance (also known as performance anxiety) can suffer from PE.

c) Relationship Issues

PE can often occur in men who had a great time in bed with their earlier partners but now feel less connected with their partner. Interpersonal issues between both partners can contribute to the problem.

d) Aging

PE does not have any direct relationship with PE. It can happen to any man regardless of his age. However, as a person ages, changes in erections and ejaculation can occur. For men who are older, erections may not be as firm or as large. Thus, erections may not last as long as expected. This naturally leads to an older man ejaculating earlier.

e) Abnormal levels of Neurotransmitters

Abnormal levels of brain chemicals called neurotransmitters can lead to PE. A neurotransmitter such as Serotonin can cause PE if Serotonin levels are affected. High amounts of Serotonin can increase the time of ejaculation whereas low amounts of Serotonin can decrease the time of ejaculation.

Certain psychological causes that contribute to PE include:

  • Stress
  • Depression
  • Early sexual experiences
  • Sexual abuse
  • Guilt that makes you rush during sexual encounters 
  • Worrying about PE

Biological causes of PE include:

  • Abnormal hormone levels
  • Inflammation and infection or urethra or prostate
  • Inherited traits
  • Certain thyroid problems

Getting your problem diagnosed by a medical professional is essential so that it doesn’t interfere with your sexual pleasure. If you have been ejaculating too early and wondering how to not cum so quickly, we have prepared a guide that will help you to gain control over ejaculation.

Things You Can Do to Make You Not Cum Early

It may seem difficult for you to get out of this gruesome situation. However, there are plenty of things you can do so that you do not ejaculate early and last longer in bed.

1. Perform Kegels and Reverse Kegels

kegel exercise

Kegel exercises, also known as pelvic floor exercises strengthen your pelvic floor muscles which support the bladder and bowel. Working on your pelvic floor muscles, also known as the Pubococcygeus (PC) muscle can help to control the intensity of your orgasm and make you last longer in bed.

Identifying the PC muscles is essential to perform Kegels properly. Here’s what you need to do:

  • While you pee, try stopping it midway or tighten the muscles that keep you from passing gas. Once you’ve identified your PC muscles, you can perform Kegels whenever you want to.
  • Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for 3-4 seconds, and then relax for 3 seconds. Try this few times in a row.

Once you start doing Kegels, you will be able to gain control over ejaculation and quickly bring yourself down from near orgasm.

A study conducted in 2012 on premature ejaculation concluded that men after completing a 12-week course on pelvic floor exercises were found to increase their time of ejaculation from 31.7 seconds to 146.2 seconds.

2. Edging

Practice masturbation differently. Delaying your orgasm while masturbating can help to avoid premature ejaculation. Edging basically involves you masturbating and bringing yourself to the edge of orgasm. Stop all the sexual or masturbatory activity until you have yourself in control. Practicing this technique can help you to gain control over ejaculation and make you last longer in bed.

3. The Squeeze Method

Similar to edging, the Squeeze method involves reaching the point of no return and stopping yourself to squeeze the shaft (just below the head) of the penis. Apply pressure with your thumb and forefinger and squeeze for roughly 20 seconds. This method can help you to push blood out of the penis and momentarily decreasing sexual tension. Performing this technique for a prolonged period of time can delay the process of ejaculation and help with PE.  

4. SSRIs

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs)

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) are medications that work by increasing the amount of Serotonin in the brain. This helps to delay the process of ejaculation and you do not cum quickly. SSRIs such as Dapoxetine can certainly help you to have satisfying sexual intercourse with your partner. Dapoxetine is often sold under the name Poxet 60 mg. Furthermore, combination drugs such as Super P Force and Tadapox that contain Sildenafil Citrate and Dapoxetine, and Tadalafil and Dapoxetine, respectively can help to treat the ill-effects of both ED and PE. 

5. Numbing Sprays and Creams 

Numbing Sprays

Desensitizing or Numbing sprays and creams help to reduce the sensations felt during sex. All you need to is apply the spray roughly 10 to 15 minutes before you have sex. These anesthetic creams and sprays contain a numbing agent such as lidocaine and benzocaine that help to prolong ejaculation. These can be easily purchased over the counter. 

6. Stamina Condoms

Stamina Condoms

Using stamina condoms can also help to delay ejaculation and prevent you from ejaculating early. They have a special lubricant inside them that reduces the sensitivity during sexual intercourse. Some condom manufacturers make extra-thick rubbers that act like a slip-on desensitizer for your penis. These can certainly help to avoid PE and prolong the sexual pleasure for you and your partner. 

7. Increase the Time of Your Foreplay Sessions

Increase the Time of Your Foreplay

Make the intercourse part a little shorter. This will help you to spend more time on foreplay and please your partner while keeping your own orgasm at bay. Whether you use your mouth, your fingers or a sex toy to provide clitoral stimulation, helping your partner reach the orgasm of her dreams can help to relieve some of the pressure you’re feeling to last longer in bed. The longer you spend on foreplay, the longer you’ll be able to last in bed.

Final Thoughts

The problem of PE is not only frustrating for a man but both partners. It makes sex less pleasurable and builds a crack in the relationship. Underlying the exact cause of the problem is essential so that proper treatment can be given to you. If you want to not cum fast and last longer in bed, you should begin by first reaching out to a medical professional. Your doctor will examine your condition properly and suggest what’s best for you. 

Knowing your body is important. Learn the physical and mental mechanisms that can help to prevent premature ejaculation. Make use of our guide to not cum early and help yourself last longer in bed. 

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